Week 8: I Can’t Have an Affair Because It’s Wrong (and I Don’t Want Earl to Kill Me) Marbled Chocolate Cheesecake Pie

Before I left for my west coast trip, I had promised my coworker, Paul, that I would make a pie for his last day with us. Unfortunately for him, his last day was only a few days after I got back to New York and I was feeling way sleepy and zero percent in the mood to start getting my hands dirty. Instead, I decided to make a pie for Tuesday, the day he was coming back for his goodbye party, which I put together with my events team. Think drag queen, disco ball, empanadas, and copious amounts of alcohol.

What's Inside: White chocolate, cream cheese, bittersweet chocolate

"Pro" Tips:
1) The recipe called for "wafer cookies" to use as the crust. After pacing the cookie aisle for ten minutes and googling what in the world that meant, I settled on chocolate graham crackers. Save yourself the trouble.

2) Don't taste the bittersweet chocolate. Just…don't.

3) This pie is supposed to be marbled, as the title suggests. You're supposed to pour a chocolate mixture over the cream cheese mixture and drag your spoon back and forth until it looks like this image from the cookbook:
THIS IMAGE IS A LIE. I tried TWICE to get my chocolate topping to be liquid-y and smooth, but the mixture seized up both times, leaving the top of the pie looking like a chunky mess. I nearly chucked this pie out the window out of frustration and embarrassment due to it's subpar looks. I couldn't even bring myself to take a picture of it in its full form.

Womp womp.

What Baking Can Do: Despite my worries that the chunks of unsweetened chocolate would not mingle well with the sweet mixture below it, this pie was devoured by my co-workers. In fact, it was eaten by everyone except for the person for which it was intended. Remember the copious amounts of alcohol I described earlier? Well, after a stressful day of set-up, drag queen wrangling, and high heels, I drank my weight in wine and danced the night away, forgetting all about the piece of pie I had waiting in the fridge. Sorry, Paul!!! At least I didn't forget to snap these amazing pictures…

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